dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
