thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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