I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
