Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
