Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
