At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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