Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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