What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
