I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
