I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Your penis caused this!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
