My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize