I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
