Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
