Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Found the puke drawer
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
