My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
