Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
