so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
