I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
