party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
