ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
