im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
