she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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