Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
