he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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