Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
