Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
