I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
