Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
