What a fucking waste of an outfit
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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