please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize