Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
