No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize