come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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