no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
