Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
