i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
