I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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