Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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