i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
