sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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