I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
