Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
