I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
