If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
