a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
did i walk over a car last night?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
