I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
