my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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