Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
