I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize