He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I had to cum in my sink.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
