A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Let's get the cat blown out
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
