I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
