Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize