i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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