How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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