There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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