Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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