I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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