i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
