The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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