id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize