im gay
i know
yea but for you.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
