There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
