she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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